On cold snowy winter days (and most other days, too) my favorite possession is my bed. I have created a little nest or haven away from the rest of the world with flannel sheets piled high with quilts and pillows. For those of us who sleep alone except for the occasional pet, the bed, without it’s other connotations, can really become the best place – the all-purpose home base. I always thought the Victorians had the right idea when women “took to their beds” as a cure for almost everything.
I have two friends named Ann and Anne, both ladies in their 60s, both of whom sleep alone. Anne has a dog, Wallace, who is an occasional bed partner and Ann has a cat named William. This is the truth, I swear.
Both of these women, and I, have perfected the art of the single woman’s bed. Far beyond the simple uses such as the best place to read a book, we also pay bills, drink coffee, talk on the telephone, write, occasionally eat breakfast and, if we’re really feeling decadent, also lunch and dinner. As yet I don¹t have the television there, although Anne has her’s where she can see it from her bed. I think that would probably be dangerous for me.
I was heartened and encouraged to come out of the closet on the pleasures of my single woman’s bed by a story in Vogue magazine awhile back about some society gal who conducted all her business and created artwork from her bed. Included in the article was a photo of her in her luxurious bed talking on the phone, wearing a handsome bedjacket. I’m not sure if she also entertained from her bed too — and let me hasten to add that she was not disabled, nor are the Ann’s and I.
The design and makeup of the bed is important. It should be just the right softness or firmness — I like cuddly on the top, firm underneath, so I added one of those foam things under the mattress pad. Then for me, heavyweight covers are best. Flimsy down comforters are not as good as several blankets or quilts. Sheets, preferably 100% cotton, flannel in winter, percale in summer with a high thread count. Looks are not as important as comfort but a pleasant bedstead and all purpose bedside table or dresser one can reach without getting up is essential, as is good lighting.
I have noticed my married friends don’t have this same need for bed perfection. Sharing the bed means compromising on preferences for that as for other things in marriage. My daughter, for example, loves to read late into the night. Her husband zonks as soon as his head hits the pillow and doesn’t appreciate the lights on all night. We got her a book light when I was there visiting — creative compromise.
At this stage of my life I have vowed to appreciate that which I have and not waste time hankering after that which I don’t. Of course I would prefer being in a wonderful marriage, but since I’m not, there are a few things I can have instead — one of them is my own bed.
Jan. 26, 2001