Family Times –
a column in The Wisconsin Dells Events newspaper
Before coming to Wisconsin I worked with families and children for more than 25 years in Minneapolis and then in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I worked with all kinds of families and kids in many different settings.
I taught drama, filmmaking and communication skills to middle school youngsters, still my favorite age group poised as they are on the edge with a whole world of possibilities still out there. In my job as a reporter for the Events I love taking pictures and doing stories at Spring Hill Middle School, the place in our community where they gather every day.
I also worked for many years with children and families as a therapist and supervised various supportive home programs to help those finding it a little difficult to cope for one reason or another.
During this time I also worked with severely dysfunctional families in therapy and saw the devastation of parental love gone bad. I always used to tell those families that I believe every mom and dad, with a few heartbreaking exceptions, brings hopefulness and good intentions to that little newborn handed to them on the day of birth. Then the world, circumstance and perhaps generations of negative modeling conspire to break down that initial hopeful beginning. I used to say, too, that change is always possible.
I raised two children of my own, going through divorce and the struggle, with their father, to give those children two parents, even if those parents were not in love with each other anymore.
The jury is now in on those two, 33 and 36 years old, and I am such a proud and pleased mom. But I know in my heart of hearts, the reason they turned out so well had more to do their own spirit and path, luck and the fact that we had the means to support them without undue stress.
I think parents can really mess children up, but when they turn out so well, we need to not take credit for that it belongs to them. Our job as a parent is to give them what they need to grow and then get out of the way.
In my time here as a reporter I have been a little frustrated with not being able to use the knowledge, skills and experience I carry about families. So when my editor here put out a call for potential columns I finally saw this as a way to combine the two.
It is my intention to write occasionally about raising children and trying to maintain loving families in this difficult time. I welcome your comments and ideas for topics.
A week in Mexico – 2003
Amazing powers of women (and others)
Divisiveness in community models troubled family system
Getting organized in middle school
Lessons in a young mother’s death
One personal and one public tragedy
Searching for answers in the past
The black Oscars, consciousness raising and oppression
The Joys of a single woman’s bed
Uncle’s death and a sense of home